Help?!

For many of us as we age, we find ourselves running into a somewhat sticky and uncomfortable situation. For most people, there comes a time when we need some sort of help. It could be physical help such as someone to clean our home, do laundry, or cook our meals. For others, the help might be in the emotional area such as grief counseling, learning to accept our new life limitations, or dealing with family issues.

The day might arrive when we need to use a cane or walker or we are told we need to stop driving due to poor eyesight or reaction times. The day might come when we need help with our bank statements, organizing a shopping list, or getting a bus service to take us places.

Where this gets challenging is that many of us see accepting help as an admission that we are old or that we are no longer capable of living our lives independently. This can be felt to be a fate worse than death. How on earth can we admit we’re no longer able to handle everything by ourselves, that, in fact, we need help from others.

Now would be a great time to face this possibility if the situation hasn’t yet happened for you. The day might come where there are things you can no longer do for yourself in a safe manner. You can choose to rail against the situation, fight it, and perhaps injure yourself or someone else. I know of one man who refused to stop driving even though he had children and grandchildren who were delighted to take him wherever he wanted to go.

One day he wasn’t able to stop his car and drove right onto a sidewalk and into a retail store. Although there were people in the store at the time, he was fortunate no one was injured. He lost his driver’s license as well as his dignity.

A woman I knew refused to let people help with her housework. One day she fell, broke her hip, and ended up in a nursing home.

It’s true that it is a good idea to keep doing as much as we can for ourselves and not allow ourselves to prematurely have others do things for us that we can do for ourselves. It is important to stay active and involved as much as possible.

It is true that some folks are the exact opposite and don’t do anything for themselves. They get family members to take care of their lives or hire people to do everything. As with anything else in life, there is a point of balance.

It is important to recognize when we need help and be humble enough to accept the help we need. Now would be a great time to take stock of where you are while also looking ahead to the future and plan how you will access help you might need as time goes on. There are many services available to older adults and it’s a great idea to know how to find them before you need them. We might not have funds in our budget to afford the help we require. Now is the time to familiarize yourself with what agencies and places could offer low or no cost services should you require them at some point.

I’m sure you enjoy helping others. Be gracious if the day to receive help from others lands in your lap. It is important to receive as well as to give. Balance in all things!

Blessings,

Krysta